Cool Bumper Stickers
These are some Bumper Stickers that will be sure to cause some attention:
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix: don’t drink & derive!
At least it’s paid for!
Automobiles aren’t the only thing recalled by their maker.
Car will explode upon impact?
CAUTION: Driver no longer gives a shit.
Cover me, I’m changing lanes.
Do I look like a hemorrhoid? Then get off my ass
DO NOT WASH–This vehicle is undergoing a scientific dirt test.
Don’t drink and drive–if you hit a bump you spill your beer
Don’t drive and derive. Alcohol and calculus don’t mix.
Don’t get any closer or I’ll flick a booger on your windshield
Don’t touch me…I’m not that kind of car.
Driver only carries $25 of ammunition
Faster than a speeding ticket!
FOLLOW THAT CAR, GODZILLIA — AND STEP ON IT!
Forget about World Peace…Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
Get a new car for your spouse–it’s a great trade.
Hang up and drive!
Hang up the phone and drive, yuppy scum!
I bet you’d drive a lot better with that cell phone up your butt
Honk if my kids fall out.
Honk if you love Cheeses
Honk if you love honking.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Honk if you’ve never seen an Uzi fired from a car window.
Horn broken–watch for finger.
Hug your kids at home–belt them in the car!
I brake for no apparent reason.
I Brake for Tailgaters
I don’t drive fast, I fly low!
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I might be slow but I’m ahead of you.
I swear, the fence just jumped out at me!
If a woman’s place is in the home, WHY AM I ALWAYS IN THIS CAR?
If everything is coming your way, then you’re in the wrong lane.
If God is your co-pilot–SWITCH SEATS!
If you can read this, I’ve lost my trailer.
If you can read this, you’re TOO CLOSE!
If you don’t like my driving, then GET OFF the sidewalk.
If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.
If you get any closer, I’ll fart!
If you lived in your car, you’d be home by now.
Ignore this bumper sticker.
I’m not in heat, SO GET OFF MY TAIL!
In case of Rapture, CAN I HAVE YOUR CAR?
I’ve found Jesus… He’s in my trunk.
I FOUND JESUS…he’s in the truck of my car…you can see him for five dollars
Look out! I drive like you!
My other car is a broom.
My other car is a chair.
Never judge a girl by her bumper sticker.
Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Pass with caution…I’m a Postal Worker.
Shift happens.
So many pedestrians, so little time
Stop reading this and watch where you’re driving.
STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
The Closer You Get, The Slower I Go.
The kids drive me crazy; I drive them everywhere.
There are two kinds of drivers: those who make dust & those who eat it..
This is not an abandoned vehicle
This truck has been in 15 accidents…and hasn’t lost one yet.
This truck is constipated–it won’t pass anything.
WATCH OUT! COMING THROUGH!
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Why am I the only person on earth that knows how to drive?
Women are born leaders. You’re following one now.
Yield to the Princess.
You are driving too close–I can see your bald spot.
You are right where you belong–behind me.
You have to be really secure to be seen in this car.
Your tailgating intimidation is wasted on my cruise control.
Zero to 60 in 15 minutes!
Grow your own dope–plant a man.
Guns don’t kill people–I do.
i souport publik edekasion.
I will fear no weevil
My son is an honor inmate at the county jail.
Rehab is for quitters.
Visualize…whirled peas
Funny Sayings
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do people in Australia call the rest of the world “up over”?
Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
Does killing time damage eternity?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?
Daylight savings time. Why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
Did Noah keep his bees in ArcHives?
Do pilots take crash-courses?
Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
How can there be self-help “groups”?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
If you shouldn’t drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?
Why do they call it “chili” if it’s hot?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren’t going as ghosts but as mattresses?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him…is he still wrong?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?”
Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole damn airplane made out of that stuff?
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?
Pick-Up Lines & Comebacks:
Did they just take you out of the oven? Because you’re hot!
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.
Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
Hey, I might not be the cutest guy here,
but I am the only one talking to you.
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, “Would you like to dance?”
The girl says, “I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you.”
The guy says, “I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said, you look fat in those pants.”
Female Comebacks
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I’m a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.
Man: Fine with me, I don’t care where you go after we’re done in the car.
Republican or Democrat, the Moral Dilemma.
I want to start this post by saying that I have friends that are Republican and Democratic. I also have friends that are Independent. They all love their families and are good citizens. I guess that is why we are friends regardless of our differences in politics. I am a US Army Veteran so I am not a bleeding heart that is naive to the terrors of this World, nor am I judgmental to those who see those terrors with vigor and outspokenness. I am a critic of hypocrites though. This is where I draw a line in the sand. In the wake of the killing of the abortion doctor and the killing of the museum guard, I have done some researching. I read a few conservative websites and I even listened to Boss Limbaugh, Hannity and Fox and Friends. To this extent I even looked up the word “morality”. The reason I looked this word up is because I have come to the conclusion that some people seem to think that in order to have true morals you must be Republican. If you aren’t, then that means you kill babies, you’re naive to what it takes to protect the Country, you’re soft on crime, etc.
Websters definition of “Morals”:
1 a: of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior : ethical <moral judgments> b: expressing or teaching a conception of right behavior <a moral poem> c: conforming to a standard of right behavior d: sanctioned by or operative on one’s conscience or ethical judgment <a moral obligation> e: capable of right and wrong action <a moral agent>2: probable though not proved : virtual <a moral certainty>3: perceptual or psychological rather than tangible or practical in nature or effect <a moral victory> <moral support>
-?-l? adverbKennon Sheldon, a University of Missouri professor, compared the “extrinsic” values (financial success, status, appearance) with “intrinsic” values (growth, intimacy, helping) of self-declared Democrats and Republicans.
Previous theory in moral decision making suggested that if people are guided by protected values, values that equate to rules like ‘do no harm’, they may focus on the distinction between acting/doing harm versus not acting/allowing harm, paying less attention to consequences. People who make choices based on these values, thus show “quantity insensitivity” relative to people without protected values for a given situation.
Where do we identify the different party distinctions regarding morals? Let’s look at a prime example:
Stem Cell Research:
Democrats want the government to use federal funds to help research what stem cells can do in terms of finding cures to cancer, Parkinson’s disease, and diabetes (to name a few possibilities) regardless of their source. Republicans do not want to use federal funds, because most stem cells come from test tube embryos. And this would be the equivalent to the murder of thousands.
Could it somehow be that there is a higher moral ground we could take in the process? Does there have to be? Do Democrats want to kill children? I have a 12 year old son and I believe in stem cell research. Let’s see, do I choose research or child killing? Once again morals come into play, right?
Let’s look at gay rights. Where do we go here? Republican morality would have us say that gays and lesbians should not marry, or have federal benefits for same sex partners, particularly federal employees. Democratic morals vary a bit on the subject. I couldn’t fathom marrying a man, however, I will not force my thought process or particular moralistic value on anyone else. The beauty of the word “morals” makes that decision for me.
I’m not gonna preach at you. However, what I will do is provide you a list of some moralistic stands that have been made by some conservatives over the years. The information provided below is public information and is available to anyone. When I hear too many conservatives getting adamant about their values, I refer them to this list:
REPUBLICAN SEX CRIMES:
Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd was arrested on suspicion of soliciting sex with an 8-year old girl. Floyd has repeatedly won elections for Denton County, Texas, constable.
Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.
Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo was arrested for having sex with a 5-year old boy.
Republican teacher and former city councilman John Collins pleaded guilty to sexually molesting 13 and 14 year old girls.
Republican campaign worker Mark Seidensticker is a convicted child molester.
Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.
Republican Mayor John Gosek, 58, XXX West 7th Street, Oswego, was arrested for the federal offense of “using a facility in inter-state commerce (a telephone) to knowingly attempt to persuade, induce, entice, and coerce an individual under the age of 18 years to engage in sexual activity for which he could be charged with criminal offenses, that is, rape in the third degree and criminal sexual act in the third degree” in violation of the New York State Penal Code..
Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.
Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.
Republican Committeeman John R. Curtain was charged with molesting a teenage boy and unlawful sexual contact with a minor.
Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.
Republican zoning supervisor, Boy Scout leader and Lutheran Church president Dennis L. Rader pleaded guilty to performing a sexual act on an 11-year old girl he murdered.
Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor.
Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.
United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child. (He did take care of the child though, got to give him credit)
Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. President Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.
Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.
Republican advertising consultant Carey Lee Cramer was charged with molesting his 9-year old step-daughter after including her in an anti-Gore television commercial.
Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.
Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.
Republican Congressman Donald “Buz” Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail.
Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.
Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.
Republican activist Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child.
Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.
Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.
Republican Judge Ronald C. Kline was placed under house arrest for child molestation and possession of child pornography.
Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.
Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.
Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. “Republican Marty”), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with an underage girl and one count of delivering the drug LSD.
Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.
Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media.
Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was sentenced to jail after offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.
Republican talk show host Jon Matthews pleaded guilty to exposing his genitals to an 11 year old girl.
Republican anti-gay activist Earl “Butch” Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her.
Republican election board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl.
Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.
Republican politician Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to girls under the age of 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children).
Republican anti-abortion activist John Allen Burt was found guilty of molesting a 15-year old girl.
Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a male child.
Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.
Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters.
Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl.
Republican County Commissioner Merrill Robert Barter pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy.
Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison.
Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.
Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, Larry Jack Schwarz, was fired after child pornography was found in his possession.
Republican businessman Jon Grunseth withdrew his candidacy for Minnesota governor after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter.
Republican director of the “Young Republican Federation” Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison.
Republican president of the New York City Housing Development Corp. Russell Harding pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer.
Republican serial killer Ted Bundy was hired by the Republican Party
Republican activist Matthew Glavin, who preached family values, was caught masturbating in public and fondling an undercover park ranger
Republican Party Chairman Sam Walls, who is married, was urged to drop his candidacy for Congress when it was found he likes to dress up in women’s clothing
Republican Congressman Edward Schrock resigned from Congress after he was caught searching for sex on a gay telephone service
Republican Mayor Jim West Republican voter Timothy McVeigh bombed Oklahoma City championed an anti-gay agenda, but was later found to be gay himself
Republican preacher Jimmy Swaggart preached fidelity, but cheated on his wife with a prostitute
Republican Congressman Bob Livingston was about to vote for impeaching President Clinton for sexual improprieties until it was disclosed he was an adulterer
Republican Congressman Henry Hyde denounced President Clinton’s extramarital affair, but was later found to be an adulterer himself
Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.
Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was found guilty of raping a 15-year old girl. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren,has told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women.
Republican city councilman Mark Harris, who is described as a “good military man” and “church goer,” was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.
Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.
Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.
Republican anti-abortion activist John Allen Burt was charged with sexual misconduct involving a 15-year old girl.
Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a male child.
Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.
Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl.
Republican County Commissioner Merrill Robert Barter pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy.
Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison.
Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.
Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, Larry Jack Schwarz, was fired after child pornography was found in his possession.
Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet.
Republican city councilman Mark Harris, who is described as a “good military man” and “church goer,” was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.
Republican businessman Jon Grunseth withdrew his candidacy for Minnesota governor after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter.
Republican director of the “Young Republican Federation” Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison.
Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was charged with rape for allegedly paying a 15-year old girl for sex. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren, has allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women.
Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.
Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.
Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.
Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks, an advisor to a California assemblyman, was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.
Republican legislator, Richard Gardner, a Nevada state representative, admitted to molesting his two daughters.
Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.
Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, Larry Jack Schwarz, was fired after child pornography was found in his possession.
Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet.
Republican Defense contractor, Mitchell Wade, admitted that he paid California Rep. Randy “Duke” Cunningham (republican) more than $1 million in bribes in exchange for millions more in government contracts.
Republican Mayor Philip Giordano serving a 37-year sentence for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.
Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having inappropriate relations with a 13-year-old girl.
Republican activist Lawrence E King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.
Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison. Now how could anyone rape their daughter 6 times! Can you say Liberal psychologist!
Republican politician Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to girls under the age of 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children). You see, actually he happened to be changing out of his bathing suit when these kids walked by.
Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a male child. He pleaded guilty only to keep his family out of the liberal media’s spotlight.
Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl. She was eighTEEN. That’s still a teenager!
Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters. He only had their interests in mind. Why don’t you liberals see that!
Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl. No comment.
Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was charged with rape for allegedly paying a 15-year old girl for sex. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren, has allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women. Philanthrapy at it’s finest!
Republican County Commissioner Merrill Robert Barter pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy. That boy was a liberal trying to corrupt his mind. He did the right thing.
Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison. He did the honorable thing and did his time.
Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000. Lies. Lies! All liberal lies!
Republican anti-abortion activist Neal Horsley admitted to having sex with a mule.
Republican city councilman Mark Harris, who is described as a “good military man” and “church goer,” was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison. If you do the crime, you do the time.
Republican businessman Jon Grunseth withdrew his candidacy for Minnesota governor after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter. He just wanted to keep an eye out for those girls…and his daughter. He even had pictures to prove it!
Republican director of the “Young Republican Federation” Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison.
Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.
Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.
Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls. .
Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks, an advisor to a California assemblyman, was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.
Republican Party leader Paul Ingram of Thurston County, Washington, pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.
Republican politician Andrew Buhr, former committeeman for Hadley Township Missouri, was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.
Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.
The deputy press secretary for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security was arrested Tuesday, April 04, 2006, for using the Internet to seduce what he thought was a teenage girl, authorities said. Rep. Brian J. Doyle, 55, was arrested in Maryland where he lives on charges of use of a computer to seduce a child and transmission of harmful material to a minor. The charges were issued out of Polk County, Fla.
Jessica Cutler, the former Republican Senate aide who posted details of her sex life on the Internet. The case brought by REPUBLICAN Sen. Mike DeWine’s former counsel to the Senate Judiciary Committee, Robert Steinbuch, alleges that Cutler engaged in an invasion of his privacy in 2004 by publishing sexually explicit facts about a relationship with Steinbuch.
Republican Otis O’Neal Horsley is an American political figure of the far REPUBLICAN right. He is the author of christiangallery.com, a website devoted to his advocacy of militant anti-abortion, secessionist, and anti-gay views. On May 09, 2005, Horsley was a guest on The Alan Colmes Show, a FOX News radio program. The topic was an interesting one - whether or not an internet service provider should allow Horsley to post the names of abortion doctors on his website. Horsley does that as a way of targeting them and one doctor has been killed. In the course of the interview, however, Colmes asked Neal Horsley about his background, including a statement that he had admitted to engaging in homosexual and bestiality sex, including having sex with a MULE!
Republican Jack Burkmana reportedly has been caught allegedly offering to pay $1,000 for sex with two homosexuals … Republican operative Jack Burkmana former lobbyist for “Family Research Council” The council and Mr. Burkmana support and donate money to the President Bush administration and the GOP.
Republican Cary Lee Cramer was convicted of one count of aggravated sexual assault of a child, two of indecency with a child by contact and one of indecency with a child by exposure. Cramer, who now lives in Tucson, Ariz., gained national attention during the 2000 presidential election. His McAllen company created a TV ad accusing the Clinton-Gore dministration of giving away nuclear technology to China in exchange for campaign contributions. Cramer faces a maximum of 149 years in prison for the four felony charges.
Republican Lou Beres denied sexual-molestation allegations when the Oregonian newspaper first reported them in October. Beres acknowledged sexually touching a 16- or 17-year-old friend of his daughter in 1976 or 1977. But a local Police Department report released as part of a lawsuit said Beres “readily admitted sexually touching” one girl when she was 13 or 14 years old.
The longtime leader of the Oregon Christian Coalition and staunch opponent of gay rights, admits in a newly released police report that he sexually touched three underage girls.
Last but not least, serial killer/rapist Ted Bundy campaigned for the Republican Party.
This information doesn’t mean that some Democrats or Independents don’t commit ignorant, self serving heinous crimes. I just don’t hear much preaching from that side of the car.
That’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.
Who can you trust? Really…
Ola, my friends, It’s me. The one “radicals” love to hate. I list below some facts that some people fail to realize. I write below some history and qualifications of President Obamas most outspoken critics and President Obama himself. You be the judge as to who to logically put more stock into.
Rush Hudson Limbaugh III:
Born January 12, 1951. Limbaugh is the host of The Rush Limbaugh Show.
This gaseous “self proclaimed” recovering dope fiend spouts antagonistic verbal graffiti on a daily basis. His “hypothetical” brand of fear mongering, race baiting and separatist diarrhea has gone on for over 20 years. Let’s take a look at some of Rush’s background:
Limbaugh graduated from Cape Central High School, in 1969. His father and mother wanted him to attend college, so he enrolled at Southeast Missouri State University. He dropped out after two semesters and one summer; according to his mother, “he flunked everything”, even a modern ballroom dancing class. As she told a reporter in 1992, “He just didn’t seem interested in anything except radio.”
Boss Limbaugh skated out on the Vietnam draft lottery because his birth date ranked him 175 in the draft lottery. No one was drafted above 125. He was classified as “1-Y” (later reclassified “4-F”) due to either a football knee injury or a diagnosis of Pilonidal disease.
The “Boss” said that Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama because he is black. I listened to a few Fox News commentators rumble on that Rush’s statements were not racially motivated. Is that so? Let’s take a look at some prolific Rush Limbaugh quotes from his radio show and you be the judge as to where his psyche really “lies”.
A - “I mean, let’s face it, we didn’t have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: slavery built the South. I’m not saying we should bring it back; I’m just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark”.
Babe, slavery was not a good thing for the millions of African Americans who were enslaved, raped and beaten. The streets weren’t at all safe for African Americans. Slavery not a bad thing? Apparently this is an issue that Rush feels that can be frivolously tweaked to fit his current daily agenda.
B - “You know who deserves a posthumous Medal of Honor? James Earl Ray [the confessed assassin of Martin Luther King]. We miss you, James. Godspeed”.
You ever used to watch the cartoons in the morning where the cartoon character is shocked or surprised at something and his eyes will shoot out of his head about a foot past his body. There you go.
Limbaugh has called Obama a ‘halfrican American’ & has said that Obama was not black but Arab because Kenya is an Arab region, even though Arabs are less than one percent of Kenya. Since mainstream America has become more accepting of African-Americans, Limbaugh has decided to play against its new racial fears, Arabs and Muslims. Despite the fact Obama graduated magna cum laude from Harvard Law school, Limbaugh has called him an ‘affirmative action candidate.’ Limbaugh even has repeatedly played a song on his radio show ‘Barack the Magic Negro’, using an antiquated Jim Crow era term for black a man who many Americans supported for President.
Now the fact that Sarah Palin has appeared on Rush Limbaugh’s Radio Show, does that constitute her as “Palling around with racists”? One of the most amazing facts of all this to me is the fact that some Republicans and Limbaugh sympathizers really believe that he is not racist. He’s just extending his really fair right to free speech. My retort:
See Reverend Wright.
Sean Patrick Hannity:
Born December 30, 1961. He is an American radio and television host, author, and conservative political commentator. Hannity graduated in 1980 from St. Pius X Preparatory Seminary high school, located in Uniondale, New York. Hannity dropped out of New York University and Adelphi University.
Now in case the paragraph above somehow slipped through your partisan eye cracks, let me paraphrase. HE DROPPED OUT OF NOT ONLY ONE BUT TWO COLLEGES.
Let’s take a look at couple of his high points and quotes.
Hannity hosted his first talk radio show in 1989 at the volunteer college station at UC Santa Barbara, KCSB-FM, while working as a general contractor. That weekly show on KCSB was canceled after less than a year by station managers upset with his remarks about gays and lesbians. This was after two shows featuring the book The AIDS Coverup: The Real and Alarming Facts about AIDS by Gene Antonio. Among other remarks, Hannity told a lesbian caller “I feel sorry for your child”.
Do you really want to align with Seam Hannity? Check out his following quote:
“Barack says we need to have a conversation about race in America. Fair enough. But this time, it has to be a two-way conversation. White America needs to be heard from, not just lectured to. This time, the Silent Majority needs to have its convictions, grievances and demands heard. And among them are these:
First, America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known. Reverand Wright ought to go down on his knees and thank God he is an American.
Second, no people anywhere has done more to lift up blacks than white Americans. Untold trillions have been spent since the ’60s on welfare, food stamps, rent supplements, Section 8 housing, Pell grants, student loans, legal services, Medicaid, Earned Income Tax Credits and poverty programs designed to bring the African-American community into the mainstream.”
Are you kidding me? He acts like the African slaves were gathered in a Princess Cruz liner for new jobs in the new land. Like we were given gift certificates to Rent-A-Center and left with LCD Flat Screen TV’s for all. The frightening thing is that there are people out there who will read these comments say to themselves, “Right on, Sean. You got that right.”
He has the audacity to say that people in the black community should be on their knees thanking the white community for bringing our ancestors to America, subjecting them to slavery, denial of humanity, Jim Crow laws, segregation, denial of civil rights, and denial of opportunity. The irony to all this is that some pundits and sympathizers to this way of thinking are gathering now to satisfy their fears because they realize that this isn’t the predominate way of thought anymore. There is actually a steadily dwindling facet of fanatics with this type of brain disease across the board. How could Barack Obama have been elected if that that decreasing number wasn’t the case.
Let’s take a look at another individual now:
Barack Hussein Obama II:
Born August 4, 1961 in Honolulu, Hawaii. Following high school, he moved to LA in 1979 to attend Occidental College. After two years he transferred in 1981 to Columbia University in New York City, where he majored in political science with a specialization in International Relations. Obama graduated Columbia University and Harvard Law School. He was selected as an editor of the Harvard Law Review at the end of his first year, and then he was the 1st African American President of the Harvard Law Review after his second year.
Now, if you were to fairly look at the three excerpts of a life from above, who would you trust to better serve you? Hell, who would you trust to bake a potato? That was a rhetorical question. There is no choice. The fact that probably half of the people that read this post will actually find a way to not only even that playing field, but attempt to make the first two idiots appear to be better citizens. Better judges of your character or better suited to lead you into your final destination chapters of our lives.
Rubbish! Anyone who can take these small comparisons and put them in the same ballpark suffer from the same brain damage that The “Boss and Sean” suffer from.
Think people! Don’t let ignorance be your guide. However, if you do want ignorance to be your guide, you can find smarter race baiters than the two aforementioned “fear, hate and stupidity mongering” anal probist.
However, that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.
I thought I saw a Democrat, I did, I did.
I’m really not sure what I want to be nowadays. I know I’m not a Conservative. I have too much backbone to be a Democrat, and I breathe and exists so I can’t be an independent. What is a guy to do? I could always try to see a middle ground. I could see the glass half full and half empty. I could just ask for another drink. Is there anyone out there that still believes that the 2 1/2 Party scheme is still working? Everyday now there are ridiculous after ridiculous arguments being weighed on the different in the pocket Networks. If you watch CNN or Fox News, you have serious and magnified issues with the views of lets say MSNBC, BET or The Comedy Channel. I haven’t even mentioned the radio. You have Boss Limbaugh poisoning the dwindling faction that still has some “fear mongering, racially ignorant points of view”. Then you’ve got “Mancow” polluting the airwaves of Chicago. Mancow at the very least has admitted, after an on air attempt at being water boarded that lasted all of 5 seconds, that water boarding is torture and that he would have said or told anything to anyone just to get it to stop. I’m not sure if we have an “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” type of scenario going on here or not. I know that all of these Politicos have college educations. I know they have mostly all backgrounds in Law or Journalism. I know that they all love their families and hope for a good future for their grandchildren. How can the views be so fantastically different? Is one side brain damaged and the other a diagnosing physician? Were some of the college degrees bought from the same guy who sold Jack his Beanstalk Beans? I am truly amazed everyday at some of the statements made by some of the people that have a say in how our one and only Country is run. Would it be a stretch to assume that all this bickering between Parties weakens our Country. Confuses our soldiers or poisons minds and warps our thought processes. As a Nation why do we allow this? Isn’t this a nation of the People by the People? I have an idea. How about we start a separate Congress. This time we have the 200 average intelligent Americans that have dreams of a One Party system and they sit down and evaluate the major differences within the 2 parties. I know, this sounds too simple right? The people have no Law degrees? They haven’t been bought out by any lobbyist right? Their not racists or, as Boss Limbaugh would say, reverse racist right? What’s the prerequisite for making decisions that alter lives of the citizens of this Country. It can’t be common sense. Common sense doesn’t have such abstract differences on the same subject or topic. A black man can’t be white and a white man can’t be black. Makes sense? Are you still with me, or has partisanship made it impossible to really understand what I’m getting at here? If you can look in the mirror and say that you honestly disagree, please make a comment and state a better plan. However, try doing it without partisanship as your guide. If you don’t understand what I mean by that: See Common Sense above.
That’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.
Tea Party What? WTF!
OK, where do I start regarding The Tea Party? I watched the TV news coverage of live Tea Party gatherings and I have rarely been more confused and insulted. I actually saw people carry and displaying signs that read, “Obama lied and the economy died”, & “Obama wat you talkin bout Willis raising my taxes”. Are you kidding me? The entire clusterx@$* was all about the fact that they hated that a Black Man was now the President of the United States. Racism to the point of pure madness. The problem I have with some of the completely” MAD” conservatives, is that no matter what the issue is, they either are for it or they really really HATE it. There’s no in between. With the idiotic toxic spewing that comes out of the mouth of RACISTS like Rush “Boss” Limbaugh, they mangle the facts into a truth that is anti Blacks, other minorities and even liberal minded white people. We have had 8 years of complete bullshit and a collected National depreciation. With the exception of some of the Republican Masters of the Universe of course. The deficit went from $4trillion to $7Trillion and none of the Republicans complained or gathered across the States with signs of ignorance and live broadcasts. However, the minute a Black Man is President, all bets are off.
While watching the coverage and the conduct of some of the people at the Republican “Tea Parties”, my concerns were as follows:
It’s broadcast’s to millions of impressionable young men and women that are supposed to move this country forward. To be honest, I was actually surprised to see how many blatant racists there still were in this country. With this type of card carrying extreme conservatism, we will be lucky if it doesn’t produce a bunch of new types of hooligans backed by money with a “Taxi Driver” Travis Bickle type of complex looking to rid the World of the imagined threat of “reverse racism” or “revenge slavery.” That sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? Boss Limbaugh is a large portrait of gas, over indulgence, separatists spewing, drug addicted, hate with belief of moral superiority. It’s either his way, or you’re Black, Hispanic, Foreign or some sort of other minority. Unless you’re one of the above with money, or an African American with “Stockholm Syndrome”. Is this type of lunacy really going to be allowed? President Obama has been President for just a little more than 130 days and already a small contingent of States want to break off from the rest of the Country. Americans should take a survey of the abundance of shit that has happened over the entirety of the last Administration and HONESTLY weigh it versus the direction that we are trying to move on to now. Leave partisanship checked at the door and let the “Sunshine in” people.
However, that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong….
Let’s bring steroids back.
Should sports players be allowed to take performance enhancing drugs? This is argued fluidly amongst players, managers, owners and pundits. I see both points and can find ways to agree with both sides in some aspects. It’s a tough subject, however, in the end I must conclude that allowing the players to take the drugs would end up making it safer, actually, for all those who choose to indulge . Not to mention how much of a more entertaining sport experiences would be. Anyone remember the Mark Magwire Sammy Sosa home run race of 1998? Barry Bond’s record breaking home run season? The wonderful show that is pre-game batting practice? The Home Run Derby the day before the MLB All Star Game?
We must also admit that some players are going to take the drugs anyway and hope to not be caught. There are doctors, physiotherapists and black market drug dealers looking for ways to come up with drugs that cannot be detected by testing as we breathe. These are drugs that will no doubt be more unsafe, simply because there will be no governing force monitoring to check them. They will probably have to be taken in greater doses, which will in most cases bring about the negative physical side effects that are so feared now. (The rage, impotency and more).
If they were allowed, it would allow players to be better monitored and checked out more thoroughly so that there will be fewer negative impacts. You lose little or you lose big. It really comes down to that. Those that say that the players reputations are at stake, or that they will be respected less because they used the drugs, need to try the decaffeinated brand of coffee. I hear it’s just as tasty.
The many of us that still like Jimmy Hendrix and the many other artists who were inspired by drugs at times aren’t gonna like them any less. “Oh the sacred sports records are at stake”! Please! Do you have any idea what the average fastball speed in the days when Ruth set his record was? Not to mention that there were no Blacks or Hispanics playing back then to contribute to the skill levels among the league. No ,Ala Kevin Costner, ungodly breaking balls being thrown by that era of pitchers.
I think Wilt Chamberlain actually slam dunked with with his penis one time when he scored the 100 points in an NBA game. There was no one close to his size. You think he could score the 81 points that Kobe did in today’s NBA? Not a chance.
I guess what I’m actually saying is that as a sports fan across the board, I really wish that other real sports fans will be careful what they wish for. Sometimes if you get it, the ends won’t justify the means.
However, that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.
Violence in the media. Really?
Does anyone think there’s a lot of violence in the media? I think we all know the core issue that we must confront as a nation. Without a doubt, we must be brought in to mediate between the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote, because this Sicilian thing must stop. In an increasingly permissive and shockproof society, where taboos are being shattered like a bank of TV sets at Graceland during a Robert Goulet special. We have all become more desensitized than Rush Limbaugh’s ass after an eighteen-hour bus ride. You’d think that media violence is some new, demonic invention. Of course that was before that pesky Quentin Tarantino came along and Pulped us with Fiction. We had been skipping through an idyllic G-rated wonderland. But we can be a little hypocritical about violence in the media. We’re looking for someone to blame. If our kid goes bad, the media is a defenseless target for the cluster fuck of self-righteous rhetoric that passes for intelligence today. We tend to want our children to watch nothing but nice, positive stories. Then they’ll be so suffused with love, they’ll go traipsing through the world like Gossip Girl or Miley Cyrus. The truth is, the most influential group already want to be like Britney Spears, Keisha Cole or Little Wayne. As critics, the “Critics” are missing the boat. TV isn’t the biggest influence on your kids. YOU ARE!.
There’s probably more real emotional violence and bad vibes at the average American family dinner table than a season of The Shield. Probably better acting too! I have a 12 year old, and trust me your television set is not a babysitter. If it was, in this day and age they would be watching a show about laying the babysitter. Or better yet, their father laying the babysitter. Also, the TV can’t rack up long distance calls talking to Xbox 360 friends across the World. (Thank GOD!)
I don’t even know if I really buy that there’s a connection between violent TV and violent behavior. Who didn’t grow up watching a steady diet Bugs Bunny getting almost head shot repeatedly, by Elmer Fudd or Yosemite Sam? How about the complete abuse The Three Stooges contributed to our psyche. However, nowadays I’m so non confrontational, I make Deepak Chopra look like Uma Thurman in KIll Bill! Besides, it seems to me, as far as adults go, we gobble up TV violence like it’s an ear and we’re a mentally unbalanced boxer. (Sorry Mike).
So please, take responsibility for your little crips, bloods and budding white supremacist. Don’t blame it “The Transporter”, “My Bloody Valentine” or “Quentin Tarantino”. Blame it on the Ah Eh Ah Eh Alcohol!
However, that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.
Yuk Yuks!
I am very impatient with impatient people
What is the answer to this question?
Don’t Hit Kids . . . No Seriously, they have guns now!
seven dwarfs in a bath feeling happy so happy got out….
if quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests
I’m going mental- want to come with me?
If a donut is eaten in the forest and nobody is there to see it, do the calories count?
What are the three fastest ways of communication?
Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
The more people i meet…the more i like my dog
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
If God sneezed what would you say?
What is the clinical term for men who need viagra?
Mycoxafailure
Approximately 47.258% of statistics are made up
i used up all my sick days so i called in dead
Shhh… that’s the sound of nobody caring what you think
A joke
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.”
The man says, “Sorry officer I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I’ll have a really bad asthma attack.”
“Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample.”
“I can’t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I’ll bleed to death.”
“Well, then we need a urine sample.”
“I’m sorry officer I can’t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I’ll get really low blood sugar.”
“Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line.”
“I can’t do that, officer.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m too drunk to do that.”
More quotes
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m going to bed
Wanna come too?
Expect Nothing, & You’ll Never Be Disappointed.
Beer: Now cheaper than gas. Drink… don’t drive.
I’m lost, and I don’t know where I am.
Instructions: Light dynamite. Run like hell.
Etc. is a sign to make others think you know more than you actually do.
I like your style, I like your class, but most of all I like your ass!
I didn’t lose my mind, I sold it on EBAY
Benign: What you be, after you be eight.
Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.
Barium: What doctors do when patients die.
Caesarean Section: A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan: Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.
Colic: A sheep dog.
Coma: A punctuation mark.
Dilate: To live long.
Enema: Not a friend.
Fester: Quicker than someone else.
Fibula: A small lie.
Impotent: Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff: A Doctor’s cane.
Morbid: A higher offer.
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates.
Node: I knew it.
Outpatient: A person who has fainted.
Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative: A letter carrier.
Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.
Rectum: Nearly killed him.
Secretion: Hiding something.
Seizure: Roman emperor.
Tablet: A small table.
Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour: Plus one, plus one more.
Urine: Opposite of you’re out.
2xCondoms: To be sure, to be sure.
It’s people like you that make the phrase “Damn you’re ugly” an understatement!
Regular naps prevent old age… especially if you take them while driving.
Stress is when you wake up screaming
and realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
Hate is just a special type of love that we give to people who suck!
Sorry, I can’t go to hell, I have a restraining order.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bulls**t before.
“The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast… The chicken was involved… The pig was committed.”
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
‘m sweating like a pregnant nun at confession
If you don’t care where you are, then you ain’t lost.
Lyrics
IM SEXY FROM HEAD TO TOE,
NAUGHTY AS HELL
BUT I AINT NO HOE!
YOU AIRNT WORTH MY TIME
AND CANT TAKE MY PLACE,
SO IF YOU HAVE TIME B**CH,
SAY IT TO MY FACE!
I PLAY MY GAME LIKE I PLAY MONOPOLY,
I DARE ANY B**CH TO LAND ON MY PROPERTY!
B**CHY?YEAH IT MIGHT BE SLIGHTLY
JUST CUZ I CANT SAY F*** YOU POLITELY!!, B**CH DID I JUST HEAR YOU TALKING?
YEAH THAT’S RIGHT KEEP F***ING WALKING!¢¾
SWEET AS HEAVEN,
HOT AS HELL
THE BADDEST B**CH
AS YOU CAN TELL
WANTED BY SOME
HATED BY MANY
INVITED MY MOST
ENVIED BY PLENTY
DIAMONDS ARE NICE
AND SO ARE PEARLS
BUT THEY AINT GOT S**T
ON US WHITEWAY GIRLS X
Back to quotes and one-liners
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, “When i get to heaven I will ask Jonah.”
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”
Why is revenge sweet while payback is a b**ch??
Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for the reputation.
The only dangerous quantity of alcohol is ZERO!
SCREW YOU WALDO
GO FIND YOURSELF!!
“be dangerous, its careful out there
S**t happens…mostly to me so dont worry
Witty pun
Ned Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not.
So it’s better to be Shott than Nott.
Some say Nott was not shot, but Shott swears he shot Nott.
Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot or Nott was shot.
If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot.
But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott himself, Then Shott would be shot and Nott would not.
However, the shot Shott shot shot shot not Shott but Nott.
It’s not easy to say who was shot and who was not, But we know who was Shott and who was Nott.
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices everyday, how come nothing’s free yet?
If you want breakfast in bed…..sleep in the kitchen
What is it?
The maker doesn’t want it…
The buyer doesn’t need it…
And the user can’t see it…
It’s a coffin.
What happens in Vegas…stays on YouTube.
I will solve my procrastination problem, JUST YOU WAIT!!
20 things not to say to a cop
The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.
20. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
18. Aren’t you the guy from the village people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. Bad cop. No donut.
13. You’re not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn’t inspire confidence.
11. Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that’s how far they are ahead of me.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That’s nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
The only difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
You’re slower then a dead turtle
Should Marijuana be legalized for medical uses?
The IOM report, Marijuana and Medicine: Assessing the Science Base, released in March 1999, found that marijuana’s active components are potentially effective in treating pain, nausea and vomiting, AIDS-related loss of appetite, and other symptoms and should be tested rigorously in clinical trials. The therapeutic effects of smoked marijuana are typically modest, and in most cases there are more effective medicines. But a subpopulation of patients do not respond well to other medications and have no effective alternative to smoking marijuana…
Because the chronic use of marijuana can have negative effects, the benefits should be weighed against the risks…
Most of the identified health risks of marijuana use are related to smoke, not to the cannabinoids that produce the benefits. Smoking is a primitive drug delivery system. The one advantage of smoking is that it provides a rapid-onset drug effect. The effects of smoked marijuana are felt within minutes, which is ideal for the treatment of pain or nausea. If marijuana is to become a component of conventional medicine, it is essential that we develop a rapid-onset cannabinoid delivery system that is safer and more effective than smoking crude plant material.
The options for medical marijuana should be weighed from both sides. I will try my best to do that below.
The Pro:
After deferring to the DEA, your release reads that, ‘FDA is the sole federal agency that approves drug products as safe and effective for intended indications.’ Why then has the FDA failed to respond to the 1999 Institute of Medicine (IOM) report which concluded that marijuana’s active components are potentially effective in treating pain, nausea, the anorexia of AIDS wasting, and other symptoms, and should be tested rigorously in clinical trials?
It perplexes us that even though the FDA is responsible for protecting public health, the agency has failed to respond adequately to the IOM’s findings seven years after the study’s publication date. Additionally, this release failed to make note of the FDA’s Investigational New Drug (IND) Compassionate Access Program, which allowed patients with certain medical conditions to apply with the FDA to receive federal marijuana. Currently, seven people still enlisted in this program continue to receive marijuana through the federal government.
The existence of this program is an example of how the FDA could allow for the legal use of a drug, such as medical marijuana, without going through the ‘well-controlled’ series of steps that other drugs have to go through if there is a compassionate need.
The Con:
Marijuana is listed in schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act (CSA), the most restrictive schedule. The Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA), which administers the CSA, continues to support that placement and FDA concurred because marijuana met the three criteria for placement in Schedule I under 21 U.S.C. 812(b)(1) (e.g., marijuana has a high potential for abuse, has no currently accepted medical use in treatment in the United States, and has a lack of accepted safety for use under medical supervision).
Furthermore, there is currently sound evidence that smoked marijuana is harmful. A past evaluation by several Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) agencies, including the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) and National Institute for Drug Abuse (NIDA), concluded that no sound scientific studies supported medical use of marijuana for treatment in the United States, and no animal or human data supported the safety or efficacy of marijuana for general medical use.”
